“Pies of the world unite! For years we’ve been upstaged at every party. It’s time we take back our glory. We should be at the center of celebrations, not relegated to some back-shelf. By the time we’re done, those smug little cakes are going to lose their frosting.”

“Can’t we all just get along? You know, play cards or something.”

“This isn’t a game, Chess. It certainly wasn’t a game when Uncle Bing proposed a merger with that two timing Chocolate Cake. Poor Black Forest still doesn’t know who his true father is. Cake has betrayed us at every turn and I’m not going to stand for it any longer. Now who is with me?”

“The Apple is in, dearie. And I’ve almost finished knitting our flag.”

“Thanks, Grannie. It’s beautiful.”

“You can count on us.”

“Glad to hear, Rhubarb. And congratulations to you and your blushing bride, Peach. Aw, nuts. Pecan! Shoo Fly! Get these bugs out of here. This is a bakery not a dump. Custard and Cream, you two man the beaters.”

“Will do.”


“Sir, yes sir.”

“Oh for goodness sakes, stop sir sandwiching and grab that glass of milk.”

“Sir, yes sir.”

“Pumpkin, wipe that silly grin off your face. Has anyone seen Coconut?”

“The wacko is hanging from the lamp again.”

“No need to be so tart, Lemon. Coconut! Quit goofing around and get the rolling pin. Mince, hand out the knives. It’s time to crumb some cake.”

About A. L. Kaplan

I am a writer, artist, and parent.
This entry was posted in Short Story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to PASTRY WARS

  1. Howie says:

    I like it. Deliciously funny.


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